What is a strong sense of self? Self esteem tips from a counsellor

A strong ‘sense of Self’ is how you perceive yourself, your characteristics and your identity.

Why does this matter? 

You will have based this on your personality, your relationships and your values (and that of your parents/ carers, if still in young adulthood).

Sense of self - why it's important to develop this

Some people will have strongly based their perception on what they do for work or the community and potentially for being admired or appreciated. Others on being a parent/ carer or sibling, for example. They may have a mix of more. 

What about nagging 'self-doubts'? 

There’s a direct correlation between having a noisy inner critic and a less-developed sense of self. The sort of things pleasers of people will be familiar with.

Perhaps not confident in making decisions and constantly criticising oneself or facing confusion over what is best, all leading to low self-esteem.

Taking small steps toward a healthy sense of self and using these self esteem tips from a counsellor, how about giving the following a try?

Speak up with opinions 

Build up small habits of saying what you believe in. E.g. in a work meeting, Speak up with an opinion on a subject of some interest to you. The likelihood is someone will gain from your input. What matters to you may matter to others. It builds confidence that your opinions count. 

Take care of the plants by watering them

OK, so maybe not literally, although perhaps you love gardening or house plants, so remember to include making time for the things that you enjoy.  That’s part of the rich tapestry of your sense of self. Try new things if you aren’t yet sure. eg, a gym session.

Examine your thoughts

Are they all negative? Can you challenge the negative self talk? Analyse what you are regularly saying to yourself and raise awareness of put downs or things that damage your self-esteem. 

Work on your healing  

Whether via therapy, self-help materials, being creative, doing things you love, making time to appreciate how far you’ve come despite any obstacles. You deserve to make your life fulfilling and that benefits from developing your sense of self.

Get in touch if you would like to discover what you may gain through working on yourself through therapy.

Angie Giles 

Counselling and Coaching in Norwich, U.K. and online. 

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